...only speech enables man (human) to be
the living being he is as man (human)
-Martin Heidegger
Is the perception of Urdu popular monthlies
geared for women as merely catering to a
demand for easy reading and reinforcing the
gender status quo really true? Do they only
contain light romantic stories? The results
of a study conducted by the Sustainable
Development Policy Institute show otherwise.
While most stories in them propagate
socially constituted ideals for women, there
are also "alternative" stories. These
stories question socially constituted ideals
for women, and discuss "serious" issues such
as the value of women's economic
empowerment, child sexual abuse and domestic
violence.
Historically, specialized periodicals for
women can be traced back to Sir Syed's
reformist movement, which stressed the need
for educating Muslim women. The first
publication geared exclusively for Muslim
women was Akhbar-i-Tehzeeb-i-Niswan,
and it was brought out in 1898. Initially
these publications catered to a very small
section of the population. In 1924 only four
out of a thousand Muslim women were
literate. However the backlash they received
was enormous. They were perceived as threats
that could corrupt the morals of women. This
led to a pro status quo tilt, which survives
to this day. The editors interviewed for the
study displayed a wariness against being
labelled anti status quo. They emphasized
thatthey saw their task as educating women,
and keeping them from "going astray".
Today there are more than a dozen monthlies:
Hoor, Anchal, Khawateen Digest, Kiran and
Pakeeza being some of the major ones.
The format is more or less the same. Each
digest has 10-12 short stories; one or two
episodical novels; a section on beauty tips;
one on spiritual advice and one on show
business news. The extraordinary aspect is
the number of readers they command.
Circulation figures vary from 70,000 to as
high as 130,000.
The methodology was fairly simple. I
randomly selected forty digests, from two
publications: Khawateen Digest and
Pakeeza. The timeline I chose was from
1973-2003. I went through each story and the
ones seemed to go against what the
"majority" was saying were then selected and
quoted from.Most of the stories propagate
socially constituted ideals for women.
Appease and lie low, things will work out in
your favour eventually; is a recurrent
theme. The role of women as wives and
mothers is over emphasized, while the desire
to have a career or a life of one's own is
portrayed negatively. However each digest
has at least one or two stories which go
against these norms. They speak out against
domestic violence, and portray economic
empowerment as something that adds another
dimension to a woman's life. Here are some
examples.
A young artistic girl got married to a man
who was physically and verbally abusive.
Initially she tried to resolve the
situation.
"Tell your brother he needn't come here
anymore, this is a house not a hotel".
Wiping her tears she consoled herself,
everything will be okay. Soon after marriage
everyone encounters such problems but with
time we will both adjust. But then again
knowing the kind of a person he is I'm the
one who will have to adjust.
The following lines are from a fight she has
when she tried to write poetry.
"Why can't you turn off the light? Are you
trying to write a letter to some previous
lover?"
"Is this all you can think of? I have the
right to be in this house and to use its
things; I'll keep the light on if I want to.
Do whatever you want."
"No, you do not have any rights over
anything." He started tearing up the pages
she had written on. "Shareef (decent) women
do not write such stuff."
"No, you want to trample on my self-respect
but I will not let you do that."
"Remember I'm your husband."
"I will accept whatever is reasonable, but
this is unreasonable. Why are you so scared
of my poetry - You're scared because if a
woman wants to realize her capabilities, you
push her within the four walls of your home
portraying this as your manhood. You want to
end her individuality, rust her capabilities
and trample on her personality, because you
fear that she would leave you behind."
Eventually she left him and went back to her
parent's house. Over there she encountered
the social pressure of staying separated.
Her husband then wrote her a letter asking
her to come back. She decided to go back to
him, thinking that it was her fault to have
expected too much. Going back, however,
proved to be a mistake as he got her to sign
off all her dowry over to him, and divorced
her.
She was prepared to sacrifice her
individuality, her self and yet she had not
gained anything. "Why did I believe him, why
did I come back? If I had not been here, he
would not have been able to strip me of all
I had left. This was my fate, but in this
sinister drama who was the villain, the
cruel man who had exploited and abused me in
every possible way, or the two women (her
mother-in-law and sister-in-law) who are
silent at the treatment being meted out to
another woman."
-"Dard ka fasla" (Pakeeza, August 1978)
Another example:
Saima was under psychological pressure
because of her husband, Wasiq. Her
educational qualifications were higher than
her husband's qualifications, and he felt
insecure because of this. Initially she
tries to appease him and accepts all his
decisions.
Women try their utmost to make their
marriages work, and men instead of
appreciating this, do not even acknowledge
their effort. Before marriage, girls are
pampered and loved by their parents, but
once they get married they have to put up
with undue criticism. Husbands in their 'husbandness',
deny them due respect, because their own
egos are too frail to handle a woman. In
trying to get along with their husbands,
women push their own intelligence, education
and critical thinking to the background. In
trying to make their husbands feel respected
women accept each decision without any
criticism. However, this policy backfires.
The husbands not only get into the habit of
leaving out their wife from decision making,
but they also label her a 'fool', who has no
understanding.
Saima then met another older woman who told
her that going according to her husband's
wishes was not going to get her anywhere.
Women who do this, get into the habit of
sacrificing their own happiness for the sake
of others. Husbands neither acknowledge nor
appreciate those sacrifices. And the
children too, who have seen their father
degrading their mother, don't respect either
parent.
Saima began to take time out for herself:
"What is this? Am I going to have to eat
daal chawal (rice and lentils) for dinner?"
shouted Wasiq.
"I'd gone for a hair cut," she answered as
if Wasiq's anger was of no consequence.
"Why isn't my tea here yet?"
"I was using a facial mask, have just taken
it off. I'll make tea for you now if you'll
take care of the baby," she replied.
Wasiq lost his temper, and started his usual
lecture about Saima's laziness and
inefficiency. Saima stayed quiet, and then
calmly nodded her head in agreement. "You
are right. I am not only lazy but also ill
mannered." What could Wasiq say, everything
he was planning on saying had already been
said. Gradually he began to see that his
criticism had no effect on Saima now. She
was no longer afraid of his temper tantrums.
One day she informed him that she had found
a job for herself. Wasiq was shocked and
tried to dissuade her.
"How will you work? Who will run the house?"
"But you say yourself that it's the maid who
runs the house, I don't do anything. So, the
maid will continue to run the house", said
Saima.
The day Saima received her first pay cheque,
without asking Wasiq, she hired a young girl
to help her out with her children. When he
asked her about it, she replied that since
her pay was going into the new maid's
salary, she didn't feel the need to ask him.
Eventually her husband realized that he
could no longer intimidate her, while she
led a happy and busy life.
- "Bay nishan raaston per chaaon"
(Pakeeza, August 2002)
Another area that has undergone a
significant change is economic empowerment.
There are more and more stories appearing
which show it in a positive light.
These publications are commercial ventures.
So the printability of stories depends on
how well they will sell. The fact that
stories that speak out against child sexual
abuse, or portray women's economic
empowerment positively are getting printed
in a mainstream publication, means that
there is a demand for such stories. The
acceptability of views that question
socially constituted ideals for women is
increasing. Second, it's basically the urban
middle class population that these digests
cater to. The acceptability of such views in
the middle class is a very hopeful sign
because it is always the middle class that
revolutions come from.
Dissent by a minority, whether it is in the
form of a protest against testing of nuclear
weapons in a country where most of the
population is celebrating this occasion, or
a short story that speaks out against child
sexual abuse, needs to be highlighted. This
write up is an attempt at magnifying one
particular kind of narrative of dissent in
Urdu popular fiction. |
|
|
